National Security Counsel Meeting

TRUMP: All right guys; let's get this meeting to order.

BANNON:  Mr. President, aren't you going to take off your bathrobe?

FLYNN It's true, Mr. President, I know you are stressed out over those fuzzy headed judges icing your travel ban, but as commander in chief, it does not look very appropriate.  You should be wearing a Marine Corps uniform to show strength. 

TRUMP:  If you have a problem with my bathrobe, Mike , I can fire you.  Civilians control the military, remember?  I am not a fascist, even though they say so on MSNBC.  We don't need you here anyway.  Who wants to listen to your opinions about Putin?   I'm beginning to think that he is not as good a friend as I thought.  He wants too big a cut on the division of the Arctic drilling rights. I know he has sent troops there in skis to check out the minerals and oil.  We need to send a battalion up there to protect the new Trump oil company that my sons are organizing.  And By the way, your dealing with the Russians without me is a no no.  The next time you pull that crap you are out of here.  Understand?

BANNON: Listen, Don, I mean, Mr. President.  We need to concentrate on the radical Islamic threat to our country.  After all the terrorists who have struck here represent a clear and present danger to our world.  And all those children from Syria who were gassed by Assad all could be potential terrorists.

Plus the democrats are planning demonstrations all over the country at town halls.  We need to put a stop to that.   Those damned judges interfering with my world view--Why don't you tweet about that?

TRUMP: Well, there is no danger coming from the countries where I have business dealings, like Saudi Arabia or Egypt, is there?   After all I went through all that trouble with the left wing dishonest press and all those Senators asking to see about my investments and tax returns.  It could have cost me the election.   Already we are losing money at my golf clubs and hotels.  People are boycotting Trump Steaks and Ivanka was ditched by those greedy bastards at Nordstrom's because they said her line was not selling.  Can you imagine how embarrassing it will be to find her product at Nordstrom's rack or TJ Maxx at a steep discount when all those foreign dignitaries and heads of state bought retail plus 30% dresses and makeup at the hotel boutique?  I mean they like bargains also.

GENERAL MATTIS: Mr. President, seriously we have to consider what North Korea is doing and try to convince the Chinese to reign them in.  They are working on a missile that could reach LA or San Francisco.

TRUMP:  Listen, Mad Dog, I am leaving that to you.   All those illegal voters in CALIFORNIA who did not vote for me are not my concern.  This drop in revenue is harming the Trump Organization.  They even don't want me to come to the UK to visit my Scottish golf course.  I put in those plaster of Paris statues in front and those unappreciative Scots say it is tacky. They cost me a fortune.   So unfair. And now the GSA is going to try to negotiate a higher priced lease on the  DC hotel.  I may have to fire the administrator and put someone there that will not treat my sons so unfairly.  Maybe I will send out a tweet about it.

FLYNN:   Mr President, can we concentrate on the Islamic threat?  What can we do more than Obama did, by smoking all those leaders with drone strikes? We have to show we are strong and by aligning ourselves with Putin will insure that we win.  

TRUMP:  Listen Mike, I told you to pipe down.  Those video fliers in Nevada are really good at remote control bombing.  I think if I could just use some of that technology in my casinos we would not have gone broke. Plus I have an idea for a new Trump video game called,  "Let's Nuke 'em."   Should be a best seller.  It will include a free night at one of my hotels.  That's not an emolument, is it?

 But if you want, we can shake things up by moving the US Embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.  That should be good for Lockheed-Martin.  I have a large position.